Behavioral Problems In 5-Year-Olds: What’s Normal?

At five years old, children are expected to follow rules, regulate emotions, and manage social situations—often all at once. That’s a big developmental leap.

I remember a parent telling me, “He was fine at four. What happened?” After observing their child in both home and school settings, we found the demands had changed faster than his coping skills. 

With structured behavioral support through All Star ABA, we helped him build those missing skills step by step.

Understanding Typical Behavior vs. Behavioral Problems at Age 5

Before deciding whether your child has behavioral problems, we have to define what’s developmentally expected.

Five-year-olds are still building:

• Emotional regulation
• Frustration tolerance
• Flexible thinking
• Social problem-solving skills

In clinical practice, I often remind parents that kindergarten expectations can outpace neurological development. Executive functioning—the brain’s ability to manage impulses and adapt to change—is still very much under construction.

That said, some behaviors do move beyond developmental norms.

What “Typical” Often Looks Like

Typical behaviors at five may include:

I once worked with a child who cried daily after school for two weeks when kindergarten began. His parents feared severe behavioral issues. After observation, we discovered he was holding it together all day and releasing emotional stress at home. 

With small adjustments—snack timing, quiet decompression time, and visual schedules—the crying reduced significantly.

That was developmental adjustment, not a behavioral disorder.

When Behavior Becomes a Clinical Concern

In ABA therapy, we evaluate three measurable variables:

When behaviors interfere across environments—home, school, community—it signals the need for deeper evaluation.

Common Behavioral Patterns I See in 5-Year-Olds

When parents ask, “Does my 5 year old have behavioral problems?” the concerns usually fall into recognizable categories.

Frequent or Intense Tantrums

Tantrums at five are not automatically alarming. However, we look for patterns like:

• Escalation to hitting, kicking, or throwing objects
• Difficulty calming even with adult support
• Tantrums triggered by minor changes

At All Star ABA, I worked with a child who had daily meltdowns when transitioning from preferred activities. A Functional Behavior Assessment revealed the behavior served an escape function—avoiding non-preferred tasks.

Once we introduced structured choices and reinforcement for transition compliance, the meltdowns reduced by over 60% within eight weeks.

The behavior wasn’t random—it was functional.

Aggression or Unsafe Behavior

Aggression at this age deserves careful attention, particularly if it includes:

• Hitting peers repeatedly
• Biting
• Self-injury
• Running away in unsafe environments

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that persistent aggression beyond early preschool years may require professional evaluation. Research consistently shows that early behavioral intervention improves long-term outcomes, particularly when skill deficits are addressed before age seven.

In practice, I’ve seen aggression decrease significantly when we teach alternative communication skills—such as requesting help instead of pushing a peer.

Social or Communication Challenges

By five, children are expected to:

• Engage in cooperative play
• Take turns
• Follow group instructions

When a child consistently isolates, reacts aggressively during peer interactions, or struggles to interpret social cues, we examine underlying skill gaps.

Sometimes the issue isn’t “bad behavior.” It’s delayed social communication.

What Causes Behavioral Problems in 5-Year-Olds?

Behavior doesn’t happen in a vacuum. In ABA, we analyze the function of behavior through a structured FBA.

Every behavior serves one of four primary functions:

• Attention
• Escape
• Access to tangibles
• Sensory stimulation

Case Example: The “Defiant” Student

I once supported a child whose teacher described him as oppositional. He refused writing tasks daily. Instead of assuming defiance, we assessed the function.

We discovered:

• Writing tasks exceeded his fine motor ability
• He experienced frustration quickly
• Avoidance was negatively reinforced (task removed after meltdown)

When we introduced shortened assignments, visual supports, and reinforcement for task attempts, the refusals decreased dramatically.

The issue wasn’t character. It was skill mismatch.

The Role of Emotional Regulation

According to research published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, emotional regulation develops progressively throughout early childhood. Some children require explicit teaching of coping strategies that others acquire more intuitively.

In ABA therapy, we actively teach:

• Deep breathing routines
• Functional communication phrases
• Waiting skills
• Tolerance for “no”

These are not assumed skills—they’re built systematically.

How ABA Therapy Addresses Behavioral Concerns

ABA is sometimes misunderstood as rigid or compliance-focused. Modern, ethical ABA is skill-based, child-centered, and data-driven.

At All Star ABA, our process typically includes:

Comprehensive Behavioral Assessment

We gather:

• Parent interviews
• Direct observation
• Developmental assessments
• Data collection across settings

This prevents guesswork. Intervention is based on measurable patterns—not assumptions.

Individualized Skill Development

We focus on:

• Communication training
• Social skill instruction
• Emotional regulation
• Replacement behaviors

For example, instead of simply reducing tantrums, we may teach a child to say, “I need help” or “Can I have five more minutes?”

Behavior reduction without skill replacement is incomplete intervention.

Parent Coaching and Collaboration

I spend significant time coaching caregivers because consistency across environments matters.

Parents learn:

• How to reinforce desired behavior
• How to avoid unintentionally reinforcing problem behavior
• How to structure routines predictably

Progress accelerates when home and therapy align.

Realistic Expectations for Progress

When families begin services, I emphasize something important: progress is rarely overnight.

What we often see first:

• Shorter tantrum duration
• Reduced intensity
• Increased communication attempts

Then:

• Improved compliance
• Better peer interactions
• Greater independence

Research consistently supports early behavioral intervention as effective, but outcomes vary depending on consistency, individual differences, and environmental factors.

We measure progress objectively, not emotionally.

When Should You Seek Professional Help?

If you’re asking, “Does my 5 year old have behavioral problems?” consider seeking evaluation if:

• Behavior occurs across multiple environments
• Teachers report ongoing concerns
• Safety is compromised
• Daily routines feel consistently overwhelming
• You feel unsure how to respond effectively

Trust your observations—but confirm them with assessment.

Five is still very early. Neuroplasticity is high. Skill acquisition is rapid when supported appropriately.

If you’re still asking, “Does my 5 year old have behavioral problems?” the most important thing to remember is this: seeking clarity is a proactive step, not an overreaction.

Early support can make a meaningful difference—especially at age five, when emotional regulation, communication, and social skills are still rapidly developing.

The goal isn’t to label your child. It’s to understand what their behavior is communicating and to teach the skills they may be missing.

At All Star ABA, we work collaboratively with families across Maryland and Virginia to provide individualized, evidence-based behavioral support. Our approach is practical, compassionate, and rooted in modern ABA principles.

We offer:

• In-home ABA therapy – Skill-building in your child’s natural environment for meaningful, real-world progress
• Center-based ABA therapy – Structured clinical settings designed to promote focused learning and social interaction
• School-based ABA therapy – Collaborative support that helps children succeed academically and socially
• ABA parent training – Hands-on coaching so you can confidently support your child beyond therapy sessions

If you’re unsure whether your child’s behavior warrants professional evaluation, we’re here to talk it through. A comprehensive assessment can provide clarity, direction, and peace of mind.

Contact us today to schedule a consultation and take the next step toward understanding—and supporting—your child’s development.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources:



• https://www.cdc.gov/children-mental-health/about/about-behavior-or-conduct-problems-in-children.html
• https://childmind.org/article/common-causes-of-behavior-problems-in-kids/
• https://childmind.org/guide/parents-guide-to-problem-behavior/
• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10670436/
• https://nyulangone.org/conditions/behavioral-problems-in-children/diagnosis
• https://medlineplus.gov/childbehaviordisorders.html